My Awards- Bellissimamma
Beauty, Beauty In Your 30s, Motherhood, Self-love

How Self-love Can Help You Become A Better Mom

Hello, Mama! I am rewriting this self-love post in the middle of 2019.

The first time I wrote this blog post (which was at the beginning of the year), I made a list of activities that promote self-love.

Now, it’s the middle of the year and I realized that you can’t just love yourself by following a list. Self-love is more than just following a list of self-care routines.

What Is Self-love?

Self-love is a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. It’s when we learn to be compassionate towards ourselves. When we are nicer to ourselves and when we don’t beat ourselves up, we are practicing self-love.

How do you love yourself first when you’re a mom? It’s natural for us to think of our spouse and our children first before our own needs. Self-love is not about ignoring the needs of your family. It is about prioritizing time for yourself and pursuing things that make you happy. It’s also about being yourself and taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Self-love makes you a better mom #bellissimamma #selflove

How Do You Practice Self-love?

You are going to need the support of others. Yes, you will need other people to help you so that you can practice self-love.

In my case, I went to see a medical counselor. I needed the support of a professional to help me with my healing process. The Younique Foundation’s services can help you heal and take your life back.

Self- love For Moms

Lauretta of Home and Horizon says that “us mums always make time for everyone else- now should be the time to turn the focus back on ourselves“.

It’s not easy to do things for yourself when your to-do list is too long. You can’t just decide to go out at night when you don’t have a babysitter.

If I want to “take care of myself”, I am going to need external support. This means that when I need to go out for ladies’ night, I should be able to trust that my husband will take good care of the kids. (This goes both ways.)

If I want to work on my blog and makeup business, I need to put my kids in daycare even if it will cost me some money. I do not have to take care of my children 24/7. It is also good for them to learn and play in a different environment.

Moms can practice self-love by prioritizing spending time to focus on ourselves and doing things that make us feel happy, energized, and relaxed.

When we are happy and full of love, we can better take care of others. We can enjoy the things that we do as mothers. Most of all, we can give more to our loved ones because our cups are full.

Why Is Self-love So Important?

It gives us a more positive attitude towards life. You become more conscious of how you spend your time and energy. When I practice self-love on a regular basis, I become happier and more loving towards others. I also realized that when I respect myself, people treat me better. Actually, I learned this the hard way. There was a time when I was so eager to please others. But instead, they abused my kindness.

One person approached me and told me that she saw in me a heart that is full of love. But, when other people see that, they will think that it’s okay for them to dump their sh+t on you. Learn to put up boundaries. Don’t do all things for all people. Adults should know how to take care of themselves.

I also realized that when I don’t do all the things for my children, they learn to take responsibility for themselves. One of the best things I’ve taught my three-year-old was to clean up after himself after using the potty. I realized that if I teach my kids simple chores and routines, it is actually better for all of us.

Now, going back to the self-love tips. Here’s my list. Let me know what’s on yours.

19 Self-love Habits in 2019

1. Meditating everyday

Meditation has many fantastic benefits, and it helps us be more mindful and present. I find that meditation helps me start the day right. I use the Abide app– it’s a useful prayer meditation tool with soothing music, Bible verses, and daily encouragement.

2. Committing to a skincare routine

Keep your skin healthy by cleansing, exfoliating, moisturizing and protecting it. A daily and nightly skincare routine can be a part of your self-care. I discovered healthier-looking skin with YOU-OLOGY, a completely customizable skincare solution that YOU CREATE.

3. Going out on dates

Going out on regular dates with your significant other can put the spark back in your marriage. As parents, it is very difficult to keep up with everything else that is going on. With both of you working so hard and taking care of the family, there is a tendency for you to drift apart if you don’t get to spend time with each other. To be honest, we were only able to go out on a date sans kids one time out of the 365 days in 2018! I really hope to be able to date my husband more often in 2019.

If you don’t have a partner, go out on a date with yourself. It’s nice to have some solo time. Relax and have fun.

4. Embracing the “mom bod” and keeping it healthy and strong

Exercising at home can be possible thanks to this fitness app with a program made for busy moms!

5. Being yourself

When you are true to yourself, you will feel very happy. Say yes only when it gives you joy and say no like you mean it.  Stop trying to please everybody. Not only is it damaging to yourself, it is also a waste of time and energy.

6. Writing in a gratitude journal

Listing down at least one blessing every day will help you focus on your blessings.

Erin Condren Gratitude Journal Petiteplanner 5.75Ì¢‰âÂå쳌 x 8.25Ì¢‰âÂå쳌

7. Reading more books

Reading books that you take pleasure in will enrich your life and open your mind. I want to read at least one book a month.

8. Listening to music and podcasts

Music makes you happy, relaxed and energized. I am currently listening to Michelle Phan’s makeup playlist on Spotify. Podcasts can also educate and entertain you. My current favorites are the Minimalists and Room To Grow.

9. Studying new skills

Studying something new will add new tools to your toolbox. My goal this year is to become a better Italian speaker. I’m also learning how to grow my makeup and skincare business and social media marketing.

10. Spending some time alone

Me-time is so important because it gives you a chance to rest and reflect. I hope to spend at least a couple of hours a week by myself so that I can feel more energized.

11. Cleaning as you go

A clean and tidy home will bring much joy to your life. When I was teaching in elementary school, we had a rule in the classroom called CLAYGO (clean as you go). I want to implement that rule at home and teach my kids how to tidy up.

Read: 8 Clutter-Busting Routines For An Organized Home

12. Curating your friend list

Having quality friends with whom you can be your authentic self can bring much joy into your life. Steer clear of people who like to gossip or complain a lot. Cutting ties with toxic people who make you feel nervous, anxious or uncomfortable. Hang out with people who you truly love and support and make sure that they equally reciprocate the energy that you give to them.

13. Talking to real people face-to-face

Spending time with people you really like (and like you back) will make you very happy. Because I live abroad, I use social media as a tool to get in touch with my family and friends in the Philippines. I am also very busy doing my mommy duties to go out and “hang out” with people. Luckily, last year I was able to make some new connections in Siena and I was also able to meet up face-to-face with a few bloggers and Instagram friends. I hope to have more opportunities for more real-life connections this year.

14. Walking outdoors

Walking is not only a good form of exercise; it is also a great opportunity for you to explore your area.

Athletic Sneakers

15. Shopping

It’s nice to give yourself a treat every now and then. When you shop for yourself, invest in high-quality items that fit your budget. You deserve the best.

16. Doing fewer things

Multi-tasking is something I do a lot. It is really stressful to do too many things at the same time. This year I want to focus only on what’s truly important and not stress about the small stuff. Less is more.

17. Drinking more water

Drinking water has many health benefits. This year, I want to always stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.

Clear Water Bottle

18. Living like a minimalist

Minimalism is different for everybody. For me, it is owning less stuff in order to give room for the more important things such as family time, meaningful experiences, and giving back to others.

19. Thinking like a maximalist

A maximalist mind is open-minded and creative. I want to think like a maximalist and slay my goals because miracles occur when you choose to think big.

Are you a mother who needs ideas on self-care? Read “Self-Care Reimagined (7 Ways To Keep Your Sanity As A Parent)” by Kat Califf

What are your self-love goals?

How can you be more loving towards yourself? Leave a comment and/or share this post if this has added value to your life.

Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger
Twin Mummy and Daddy
Musings Of A Tired Mummy

Bellissimamma

Hannah Carmela is the creator of Bellissimamma. She is a mama with a mission: to uplift, empower, and validate women by sharing her stories of self-love and joyful motherhood.

Email: thebellissimamma@gmail.com
Instagram: instagram.com/thebellissimamma

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49 Comments

  1. Jenny Mendoza says:

    Wow! Happy 2019 sis! My self-love goals are: (1) to be healthier – hope to embrace exercise everyday; (2) career growth and part time for events – need to work hard for family’s goal; (3) love life – praying for God’s best…this year ko na kaya mameet? praying

    1. I love it sis! I support you! Love ya. xoxo

  2. I am definitely wanting to take care of my body more this year. As a mom i am always so busy with everything and everyone else except me. The fact im sitting here and reading this means i m doing good in the 2nd day of the new year.

    1. Yes! Thanks for the comment, Nadia!

  3. Oooh thank you so much for including my quote lovely – that was unexpected! 🙂 You and I have similar ideas – I already do things like clean as I go and I try to up the water intake, but there are a few here that I really need to start doing – like making time for VIP and getting outdoors more – a great, inspirational post!!!

    1. It’s my pleasure! I do learn a lot from your blog, Lauretta. Glad to connect with like-minded people like you. Thanks for the kind comment! xoxo

  4. Love all of these!!! Meditating can be life changing and alone time is vital.

    1. Yes!!! Thanks for dropping by, Laura.

  5. It’s always nice to reflect on how to move forward. More water is a must for me! I think I have coffee pumping through my veins! I also need to simplify. I’m really good at doing that with the things around me- but not what’s in my head! Happy New Year!

    1. Thank you for the wonderful comment. Happy New Year! xoxo

  6. I love this list! It has so many of my current items that I’m either still building or am starting this year. One new habit for me this year is keeping a gratitude journal. I’m excited to see how this one affects my life, outlook and stress levels!

    1. Thank you so much, Elisa! Happy 2019!

  7. yukti says:

    Wow you have listed some wonderful habits to be followed in 2019 as they look simple but difficult to follow them always. Taking care of health and spending quality time with kids and hubby is most important for me. I would love to follow most of them.

    1. Happy New Year Yukti! Thanks for the partnership. 🙂

  8. Yes to all of it!!! I love the ones about going out with your spouse more and spending alone time!!! What awesome ideas luv!

    1. Thank you, Tiffani! Happy New Year!

  9. Cristy Harfmann says:

    What a great list. I just started a gratitude journal.

    1. That;s great, Cristy!

    2. A gratitude journal is really great! Thanks for the kind comment!

  10. Wow! Not only sharing this article, I am printing it out and sticking on my kitchen cupboard! As a single parent it sometimes hard to actually find ‘me’ time and I always forget how important that is…. In the run up to Christmas, I added an advent calendar to my blog and each day I added 5 things I’m grateful for. Although hard to complete at times, it really helped get things in perspective.
    Thank you for a great read.

    1. Oh thank you so much, that means a lot to me!

  11. I Simply loved these self-love ideas that you have come up with. Clean as you go is something that I liked a lot and have been trying to get my daughter to follow that religiously.

    1. Thank you, Rakhi!

  12. These are all great ideas! I have to admit that I am not that great at self-care. I work a lot and spend the rest of my day taking care of the kids. I will have to take some of these ideas and put them to use!

    1. Yes, it’s so natural for us to put our needs last. Hope to love ourselves more this year! Thanks for the comment!

  13. Hello Carmela,

    I love these self-care habits! We need to love ourselves before we can fully love others. Thank you!

    Best,
    Sigrid

    1. Yes, Sigrid! Thanks for the lovely comment. xoxo

  14. Angie says:

    I definitely want to be more consistent with a skin routine and read more books!

    1. Yes! Thanks, Angie!

  15. Barbara Alfeo says:

    love the idea of a gratitude journal!

    1. Yes, I am able to keep up with it…now on my 2nd year!

  16. Great tips I’m definitely cleaning as I go Thanks for linking up to #thatfridaylinky hope to see you next week

    1. Thank you, Nigel! 🙂 Glad to be part of #thatfridaylinky.

  17. Great list. I’m definitely trying to implement a few of these in my year. Self care is sooo important.

    1. Yes, self care is a priority! Thank you, Tiara!

  18. These are some fantastic ideas! I am going to try to do quite a few especially read more books!

    1. Thank you, Nicole!

  19. Lots of great ideas here! I would like to take walks outside in nature each day, commit to relaxing in a bubble bath more often and taking time to make decisions as I tend to not have time sometimes to think things through carefully enough and then I later regret not taking my time! Happy new year. #globalblogging

    1. Such wonderful self-love ideas. Thanks for the comment, Sophie!

  20. Great post, Carmela. Yes there are so many such relatively small things we really should focus more on & together they will have such an impact on our lives 🙂

    1. What a lovely comment, Isabel!

  21. If I could just do 5 of these I think I’d be happy. What a wonderful list #GlobalBlogging

    1. Thank you, Fiona!

  22. What a fab list – achievable but so many positive changes! I started drinking more water at the end of last year and got into a good routine for about 2mths, but it all went out the window over Christmas! I’m trying to restart the habit again now. I also know that hubby and I need to make more of an effort to do proper dates instead of watching (i.e. falling asleep in front of) the TV. #blogcrush

    1. Thank you, Lucy! xoxo

  23. Several of these things are on always on my list of priorities as I believe in self-care. It’s so important to care for ourselves so we can then care for our families better. #GlobalBlogging

    1. Yes! Thank you, Michelle! xoxo

  24. I had plans for getting organised so that I’d have more time to myself and for myself but it hasn’t happened yet! Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

    1. Thank you, Laura!

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