Hello, Mama! I am rewriting this self-love post in the middle of 2019.
The first time I wrote this blog post (which was at the beginning of the year), I made a list of activities that promote self-love.
Now, it’s the middle of the year and I realized that you can’t just love yourself by following a list. Self-love is more than just following a list of self-care routines.
What Is Self-love?
Self-love is a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. It’s when we learn to be compassionate towards ourselves. When we are nicer to ourselves and when we don’t beat ourselves up, we are practicing self-love.
How do you love yourself first when you’re a mom? It’s natural for us to think of our spouse and our children first before our own needs. Self-love is not about ignoring the needs of your family. It is about prioritizing time for yourself and pursuing things that make you happy. It’s also about being yourself and taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health.
How Do You Practice Self-love?
You are going to need the support of others. Yes, you will need other people to help you so that you can practice self-love.
In my case, I went to see a medical counselor. I needed the support of a professional to help me with my healing process. The Younique Foundation’s services can help you heal and take your life back.
Self- love For Moms
It’s not easy to do things for yourself when your to-do list is too long. You can’t just decide to go out at night when you don’t have a babysitter.
If I want to “take care of myself”, I am going to need external support. This means that when I need to go out for ladies’ night, I should be able to trust that my husband will take good care of the kids. (This goes both ways.)
If I want to work on my blog and makeup business, I need to put my kids in daycare even if it will cost me some money. I do not have to take care of my children 24/7. It is also good for them to learn and play in a different environment.
Moms can practice self-love by prioritizing spending time to focus on ourselves and doing things that make us feel happy, energized, and relaxed.
When we are happy and full of love, we can better take care of others. We can enjoy the things that we do as mothers. Most of all, we can give more to our loved ones because our cups are full.
Why Is Self-love So Important?
It gives us a more positive attitude towards life. You become more conscious of how you spend your time and energy. When I practice self-love on a regular basis, I become happier and more loving towards others. I also realized that when I respect myself, people treat me better. Actually, I learned this the hard way. There was a time when I was so eager to please others. But instead, they abused my kindness.
One person approached me and told me that she saw in me a heart that is full of love. But, when other people see that, they will think that it’s okay for them to dump their sh+t on you. Learn to put up boundaries. Don’t do all things for all people. Adults should know how to take care of themselves.
I also realized that when I don’t do all the things for my children, they learn to take responsibility for themselves. One of the best things I’ve taught my three-year-old was to clean up after himself after using the potty. I realized that if I teach my kids simple chores and routines, it is actually better for all of us.
Now, going back to the self-love tips. Here’s my list. Let me know what’s on yours.
19 Self-love Habits in 2019
1. Meditating everyday
Meditation has many fantastic benefits, and it helps us be more mindful and present. I find that meditation helps me start the day right. I use the Abide app– it’s a useful prayer meditation tool with soothing music, Bible verses, and daily encouragement.
2. Committing to a skincare routine
Keep your skin healthy by cleansing, exfoliating, moisturizing and protecting it. A daily and nightly skincare routine can be a part of your self-care. I discovered healthier-looking skin with YOU-OLOGY, a completely customizable skincare solution that YOU CREATE.
3. Going out on dates
Going out on regular dates with your significant other can put the spark back in your marriage. As parents, it is very difficult to keep up with everything else that is going on. With both of you working so hard and taking care of the family, there is a tendency for you to drift apart if you don’t get to spend time with each other. To be honest, we were only able to go out on a date sans kids one time out of the 365 days in 2018! I really hope to be able to date my husband more often in 2019.
If you don’t have a partner, go out on a date with yourself. It’s nice to have some solo time. Relax and have fun.
4. Embracing the “mom bod” and keeping it healthy and strong
Exercising at home can be possible thanks to this fitness app with a program made for busy moms!
5. Being yourself
When you are true to yourself, you will feel very happy. Say yes only when it gives you joy and say no like you mean it. Stop trying to please everybody. Not only is it damaging to yourself, it is also a waste of time and energy.
6. Writing in a gratitude journal
Listing down at least one blessing every day will help you focus on your blessings.
7. Reading more books
Reading books that you take pleasure in will enrich your life and open your mind. I want to read at least one book a month.
8. Listening to music and podcasts
Music makes you happy, relaxed and energized. I am currently listening to Michelle Phan’s makeup playlist on Spotify. Podcasts can also educate and entertain you. My current favorites are the Minimalists and Room To Grow.
9. Studying new skills
Studying something new will add new tools to your toolbox. My goal this year is to become a better Italian speaker. I’m also learning how to grow my makeup and skincare business and social media marketing.
10. Spending some time alone
Me-time is so important because it gives you a chance to rest and reflect. I hope to spend at least a couple of hours a week by myself so that I can feel more energized.
11. Cleaning as you go
A clean and tidy home will bring much joy to your life. When I was teaching in elementary school, we had a rule in the classroom called CLAYGO (clean as you go). I want to implement that rule at home and teach my kids how to tidy up.
12. Curating your friend list
Having quality friends with whom you can be your authentic self can bring much joy into your life. Steer clear of people who like to gossip or complain a lot. Cutting ties with toxic people who make you feel nervous, anxious or uncomfortable. Hang out with people who you truly love and support and make sure that they equally reciprocate the energy that you give to them.
13. Talking to real people face-to-face
Spending time with people you really like (and like you back) will make you very happy. Because I live abroad, I use social media as a tool to get in touch with my family and friends in the Philippines. I am also very busy doing my mommy duties to go out and “hang out” with people. Luckily, last year I was able to make some new connections in Siena and I was also able to meet up face-to-face with a few bloggers and Instagram friends. I hope to have more opportunities for more real-life connections this year.
14. Walking outdoors
Walking is not only a good form of exercise; it is also a great opportunity for you to explore your area.
It’s nice to give yourself a treat every now and then. When you shop for yourself, invest in high-quality items that fit your budget. You deserve the best.
16. Doing fewer things
Multi-tasking is something I do a lot. It is really stressful to do too many things at the same time. This year I want to focus only on what’s truly important and not stress about the small stuff. Less is more.
17. Drinking more water
Drinking water has
18. Living like a minimalist
Minimalism is different for everybody. For me, it is owning less stuff in order to give room for the more important things such as family time, meaningful experiences, and giving back to others.
19. Thinking like a maximalist
A maximalist mind is open-minded and creative. I want to think like a maximalist and slay my goals because miracles occur when you choose to think big.
Are you a mother who needs ideas on self-care? Read “Self-Care Reimagined (7 Ways To Keep Your Sanity As A Parent)” by Kat Califf
What are your self-love goals?
How can you be more loving towards yourself? Leave a comment and/or share this post if this has added value to your life.