Grandfathers
Motherhood

What My Two Fathers Told Me About This Parenting Thing

Daddy, can we talk? Anak (Child), you can talk to me anytime.

I’m feeling lonely. Parenting can be so difficult and isolating. I have a lot of anxiety going on. I know the best thing for my family right now is for me to stay with the kids full-time. It’s different now that we’re living in Italy. We don’t have a yaya (“nanny”), and I’m doing most of the housework! I never imagined myself to be a housewife. Oh, I hate that word… it feels degrading.  I’m a career woman, just like Mommy.

This was not the plan. I was supposed to be a working mom, not a stay-at-home mom. You know me, Daddy, I’m a hard worker. I’ve always had my own money. I was even the breadwinner for a time if you remember. I have always loved working. Working with colleagues, being a leader in the classroom, feeling like I’m doing something important and being compensated financially…I miss all of those things.  I’m so worried that when the time comes for me to come back to the workplace…that I’d be outdated. What if I don’t get a teaching job here?

I’m feeling all this pressure from other people. When I was a working mom, people questioned me for going back to work so soon. Why would I leave Leon in daycare when he is so little and he needs me to be there for him? And now that I’m at home taking care of Leon and Lucas, someone told me I should go back to work when I can. It’s like I don’t know that already. I hate feeling this way, and I don’t like being judged for our decisions or our parenting style. I know I am overthinking but I just need to let this all out, if you know what I mean.

My Daddy’s Advice

You cannot please everybody.

Those who judge you don’t know about your situation. Know that you have an audience of One. You are doing what you know what God wants you to do at this time.  It doesn’t matter how many “likes” you get from other people. When God gives you His One “Like”…I’m telling you, you will receive His favor!

Be grateful for your blessings.

Remember when you were praying to have a child? God not only gave you one but two! They are your blessings…my little apos (grandchildren). God gave you children, and you have a responsibility to take care of them the best way that you can.

Your Mommy did it too.

Do you remember when your Mommy took care of you full-time when you were very little? She had to wait a little while before she pursued her fellowship in medicine. Like you, she also felt that she was “left behind”- that she was a late bloomer compared to her colleagues. But now looking back, she can say that she had no regrets. In time, God will bless your career the way He blessed your Mommy. 

Our life on earth is never going to be easy.

Parenting is the most difficult job in the world. This is something we don’t get prepared for, not even after reading parenting books or going to parenting seminars. That’s why we need God’s wisdom. We should always draw near to God to ask for His guidance. Our true job in this life is to live out His purpose for us in this world. 

Don’t worry.

God will bless you with a job in the future! He has never left you, and He will always provide for you. In the meantime, your children need you to be at home with them. Look, Leon will be attending school very soon! Mabilis lang ang panahon (Time passes by quickly). Magugulat ka na lang at malaki na sila (You will be surprised to see them grown up so soon.) Just continue to trust in Him, and be the best wife to your husband and the best mother to your children.

Yes, Daddy. I’m happy that I can always talk to you about these things. Your advice means the world to me.

Parenting
My Daddy and Leon, My First Son

Daughter, can you listen? Daddy God, I’m listening.

Read my Word. Open your heart and your mind to what I have to say:

Don’t be wishing you were someplace else. Where you are right now is My place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. I define your life, not your status.*

Be obedient to me no matter what your situation is. Be faithful in every circumstance, and I will bless you. If you are faithful in the small things, and I will put you in charge of greater things (*Luke 16:9). I use people who are cooperative with my training process. I am still looking for cooperative men and women today. **

You will receive a full restoration and compensation for lost time, emotional pain and suffering, loss of income, and even loss of joy and happiness. Your job is to make a claim. Claim your blessings, my child. Enjoy your children, they are gifts from above. ***

Yes Daddy God, I want to trust You and Your will for my life. I want to find joy in serving my family, this is my way of loving You.

Parenting
My Daddy and Lucas, My Second Son

 

Bellissimamma

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*Inspired by 2 Corinthians 14 from The Message Remix/ The Bible in Contemporary Language by Eugene H. Peterson.

** Inspired by Sanctuary Finding Moments of Refuge in the Presence of God by David Jeremiah

*** Inspired by Bounce: A 7-Day Devotional by Aaron Fruh

 


Next Blog Post To Read: Words Of Encouragement To Working Moms

Are you an unappreciated stay-at-home mum? Check out this post!

bellissimamma

👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 Mama | Teacher | Traveler | Learner
💜 Writes about Lifestyle, Literacy, and Little Kids
🇮🇹 ITALY | 🇵🇭 PHILIPPINES
thebellissimamma@gmail.com

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6 Comments

  1. Jenny Mendoza says:

    Very touching sis!

    1. Thank you sis!

  2. This is a beautiful post, Carmela! You are a wonderful mother and a wonderful person! This was a great reminder to be faithful in any circumstance. I’ve always thought that I would have kids by now, and sometimes I worry that it’s too late. But I will keep on trusting everything is working out as it should! <3

    1. Thank you so much, Kelly! 🙂 You are a beautiful person, and I love your work! Yes, we will continue to trust and have faith!

  3. Hello Carmela,

    Thank you for visiting my blog. I’m glad to have discovered yours.

    Those were wonderful advice!

    I just want you to know you are not alone in what you’re going through. Motherhood is hard. This is something I’ve been saying to myself since my son was born. We have to find a good support system, may it be from friends (online or from real life), family, or those from our community. Sometimes though, building this support system can take time. That’s how it has been for me. Let’s have faith that we will eventually find the right balance for us as a mother and as a modern woman.

    Best,
    Sigrid

    1. Hello, Sigrid! Thank you for visiting my blog as well! You are absolutely right- the support system can take time. I really do hope and pray that we will find that balance. 🙂

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