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13 Ways To Be Happier In Your Thirties

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As we grow older, we experience many things that make us unhappy. You may be easily irritated and annoyed with people. The negativity of this world may be affecting your outlook in life.  Or maybe things that used to make your heart happy do not have the same effect on you today. Well, you are not alone. If you want to be a happier thirty-something year old, you may have to intentionally pursue your happiness. Read on for some tips on how to be happier.

How To Be Happy In Your Thirties

If you are depressed, please seek professional help.

Related Post: How do you know if you are depressed?


1. Identify your source/s of unhappiness.

What is causing you to be unhappy? Here are some possible and legitimate reasons:

  • Work Stress
  • Financial problems
  • Unfulfilled goals
  • Health issues
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Insecurity
  • Jealousy/ envy
  • Hatred towards a person or people in general
  • Unforgiveness
Knowing what makes you unhappy will help you to self-reflect on these things. Seeking help and support from people who care about you may help you eliminate these sources of unhappiness. If you are a Christian, praying for help and healing to God is a strong weapon you can use to combat these things that steal your joy.

2. Learn how to say a powerful “no”.

A fake yes is a great source of stress! Your time and energy precious resources. You cannot waste them on things that will only make you sad, uncomfortable or resentful. Also, when you say “yes” one time, it is an invitation for more “yeses” in the future. Therefore, you need to say no like you mean it. Stop being a people-pleaser.

3. Declutter.

Throw away or donate things that have no purpose in your life. Clean and empty spaces will make you happier. Make space in your house for relaxation and fun. A question you can ask yourself is “Does it spark joy?” (Marie Kondo).  If it does not give you joy in your life, then it is time to let go.

4. Unfriend/ leave group/ restrict/ unfollow.

Toxic people can make you unhappy. People who do not genuinely love you will only make your life miserable. Curate your list of friends. Spend time with those you truly care about.

This also works for social media. Unfollow, unfriend or mute people in your newsfeed who make you feel miserable or uncomfortable.

I recently ended a very toxic friendship which lasted for two decades. It was painful at first, but it was definitely worth it! Not all friendships will last forever, and that is okay. When you let go of a toxic friend, you will have more space in your heart for a real one.

.Read Reasons Why You Are Vulnerable To Toxic People

5. Keep a journal.

Journaling will help you sort out your thoughts. This kind of self-reflection is healthy for your soul.

I keep a one-sentence-a-day journal to record happy/ positive things about my day. It helps a lot, at least for me. I remember having a really horrible day and writing “I thank God I am still breathing” on that particular date. I also keep another journal to record all my angry/ sad feelings, rants, and complaints. Writing down any negative thoughts that I feel is healthier than complaining to my husband or overloading my friends with bad news.

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6. Go outside.

Nobody wants to be stuck indoors the whole day. Take advantage of any chance you have to go outdoors. Breathe deeply. Relax. Enjoy the change of scenery.

7. Connect with people you genuinely care about.

Spend time with people you really love and care about. When you spend time with your best friends, you will feel happier. If you live far away from your friends, you can find like-minded people online through social media groups.

I really enjoy traveling with my husband and kids. Even if traveling with small kids is difficult, we try to go out every once in a while so that we can make more memories.

8. Find a creative outlet.

Think about what you enjoy doing for fun. Do not be afraid to do something that is not related to your degree, job, or experience. It is time to stop caring about what other people think.

9. Complete a nagging task.

Tasks that are not accomplished can really make you feel uneasy. What task have you been putting off lately? You will feel relieved and satisfied once you have completed those tasks.

10. Post whatever you want to post on social media.

Post that shameless selfie. Baby spam all you want. Show off whatever you want to show off. Post your opinions! Nobody ain’t got time to think about other people’s feelings. They know how to use the UNFOLLOW button. JUST DON’T POST MOVIE SPOILERS!

11. Set your priorities straight.

I got this idea from a good friend Dr. Melvin Sanicas. What are the 5 most important things in your life (in no particular order)? Focus on those things.

12. Find that quiet space/ time to be alone.

This is easier said than done. For me, that quiet time is during my kids’ naptime (there are days when I don’t get this time, tbh). I use this time to read/ pray/ meditate / listen to God/ write/ do self-care, etc.

13. Make someone else happy.

Reaching out to another person, and making that person feel better will make you happy.

There was a time when I was overwhelmed with sadness. I literally cried out to God and asked Him to lift me out of this dark pit. Five minutes later, I received a message from a good old family friend! That person validated my feelings and gave me some words of encouragement.

My friend was also feeling down at that time but he chose to make someone else happy. I said that I am going to continue the cycle of kindness by reaching out to another person who is feeling down.

Final Thoughts

Maybe some of you can relate to this, but it’s my responsibility to be happy. Because of my current situation as a mom of two little boys, my mood inevitably affects everyone else’s. My husband wrote this message on his Mother’s Day card for me:

“You put the joy in this home. You are the emotional leader of our family- when you are happy, we feel it and are happy too!”

I want to stay happy not only for myself but also because of my family. I don’t want to be remembered as the sad and angry mom. I want to be the light of our home.

How do you stay happy? Please leave a comment below. If you like this post, please give it a social media share!

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Bellissimamma: Beauty In Your Thirties | Family Travel | Joyful Motherhood


Carmela Granada is the creator of Bellissimamma. She blogs about beauty in your thirties, family travel, and joyful motherhood. Her family is based in Siena, Italy.


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  1. It’s so hard to say no, but a “fake yes” is indeed a huge source of stress. I realized it’s hard because we don’t want to see someone unhappy, but a yes that’s not followed through makes someone even more unhappy. We’re just delaying and magnifying the pain.

    1. That’s so true! A “yes that’s not followed through” causes a lot of hurt ( a broken promise). Thanks for the comment, Niaw!

  2. Din says:

    I love this post. 💜

    For a few days now, I’ve been sad-mad because of someone. Not all the time naman, but it got me thinking about why it seems so hard to be happy when you’re in your 30s. I know it’s not applicable to everyone, but it makes you think, what do I need to do to make myself happy.

    I especially agree with #1, I’ve encountered people like that and sobrang nakakainis! Sila yun mga napunta sa #4. Haha. And #9 I’m working on just that (alam mo na ano yun 😉).

    I think I have a copy of that book here somewhere, I’ll find it later and start reading it. 👍

    1. Thanks for the comment, Dindin! Actually nainspire ako sa conversation natin kaya nagka #1! Kaya rin ako nag #4. Naappreciate ko comment mo! <3

  3. Cy says:

    It makes me unhappy when people don’t make sense or are unreasonable ( actually more of annoyed).

    1. I totally agree! Can you share a particular experience?

      1. Cy says:

        Ehem. Now I am asking myself if I am this weird . 😂 because people don’t make sense to me when they leave their shopping carts anywhere in the parking lot! It’s an eye sore and makes me unhappy! Then the crazy drivers who came out from nowhere and cut you but then decided to drive slowly in front of you! Let’s add to the list this “friend” of mine whom I haven’t seen for a long time and wanted to meet up with her since we were in the same city for once, but unfortunately she can’t because of an unreasonable excuse.😬

  4. Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips for rookie blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  5. These are great ways in which to keep a hold on happiness #BlogCrush

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Helena! 🙂

  6. Love this! I’ve been trying to take care of myself a bit more lately. Even doing something as simple as going to bed at a reasonable time has such a huge effect on my mood. I think it’s important to take little, manageable steps and not try to do it all at once. #BlogCrush

    1. I agree completely. We all need to take care of ourselves! Thanks for dropping by, Alice!

  7. Great tips. Think I need to practice my strong no! #blogcrush

    1. It’s not easy and it takes practice! I am still practicing it myself! 🙂 Thanks for dropping by.

  8. Great post! I’m not even in my 20’s yet lol! But im sure i could put some of these to good use for now lol!


    1. Oh, thank you, Rebecca! I am glad this post has been helpful. Stay happy!

  9. The older I get, the less I care about others’ opinions of me. Love your list! Those tips on social media stress busters are a great reminder too. Time to declutter I think. #blogcrush

    1. Thank you, Sarah! I agree with you completely. I have a new guest post on decluttering. Please check it out:

  10. Inna Claudio says:

    I agree with all these sis. My quiet time is 2am. I get to meditate, think, work, and do chores in peace. I like listening to Moira on spotify. I run at 5am and chase the sunrise as often as I can, that definitely makes me happier. I do, however, try to be more conscious of rest, unlike when I was younger when I really drove myself to my limit ALL THE TIME. Our age now, we have to just prune out people. It’s such a waste of energy to be with people whose values differ from yours. I got that too-YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY, HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. I don’t think anybody in the right frame of mind chooses to be sad. Just that, sometimes things aren’t as good as they are, and that’s okay too. Thank you for such a well-written article. I love decluttering too! Cheers to us Mommies! 🙂

  11. Mother of 3 says:

    I have been moving toward this myself for the past few years and I do feel pretty happy most of the time. I try to live in the moment and surround myself with friends and family that I truly love and want to be around. I’ve also stopped associating with those people who are always down and want to bring others down with. Surrounding myself with more positive people has been a huge help. #BlogCrush

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Joanne! 🙂 You’re blessed to be surrounded by loving friends and family members. It is rare to find true friends nowadays.

  12. So many great ideas here and I love your honesty. I totally agree that being happy is a conscious decision and sometimes it can take a lot of hard work. Your point about cutting out the things that aren’t working is something that I need to take on board – once I have started something, I tend to force myself to keep at it, even if it’s not beneficial or useful anymore. #blogcrush

    1. I agree! It really is hard to quit doing something that we put so much effort into. But like you said, if it’s not useful anymore, it’s time to refocus and put our energy somewhere else.

  13. Now we have so many presents for Dad this Father’s Day.

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